Last night I realized that in just a few short weeks, I will mark the one year anniversary of my departure from Kuwait. Strange. Maybe I'll celebrate with some good old fashioned hummus and pita bread. And on the tail end of this realization was the reminder that my blogging has been virtually non-existent over the past six months. I have realized that life in America is hectic. It is fast-paced. And it is so cluttered with electronics. Between my work computer, laptop, ipad, kindle, and blackberry, by the time I lay down to sleep at night my eyes have become just the luminescent reflection of pixels. I know that's not a very good excuse for the lack of blogging, but it sounds better than "I just didn't feel inspired."
Much of my writing comes from a place of emotion, whether it is anger or sadness or frustration or excitement. My inspiration is the feeling that if I don't write out my thoughts, I'll implode. And so, since my return from Kuwait, I have felt less inspiration. I guess that's a good thing. It shows a renewed balance in my emotions (a far cry from the angry exhausted woman who boarded that last flight from Kuwait almost a year ago).
It has been an incredible year, full of so many blessings. Anytime I speak of Kuwait, or think about Kuwait, or write about Kuwait, or read about Kuwait, I feel this odd mix of relief and angst. Many have asked me if I would do it all again. If knowing what those 2 years and 3 months would do to me, I would change my mind and skip that particular "adventure." My answer is usually no, although there is often a short pause of consideration before the answer. Kuwait was my grand adventure (not my only adventure, but certainly a big one!). It was also my desert experience. Yet I wonder if it is possible to enjoy God's incredible blessings to the same extent if they do not come at a time when the desert has parched all from your soul? America is not perfect, and already I am feeling the antsy pull of the nomadic life. And yet this past year has been full. After waiting for several months, God provided the perfect job...one that allows me to travel and get out some of that angsty nomadicism so that I can more fully enjoy my everyday life in DC. I have journeyed back into the church and the community of believers, finding a very solid place in a new theological realm (Anglicanism). God has brought me an amazing man and I look forward with anticipation to the future. There is much that is good on this side of a desert.
And so. I continue this journey into the unknown. Confident. Believing that despite the odd twists and turns, the desert experiences, the disappointments, the anger that still lurks in dark corners of my soul when I think of Kuwait, despite all this. God is good, and greatly to be praised.